When you are afraid to heal in your depression

May is Mental Health Awareness Month and I’m doing something different this year in its honor.   Instead of providing facts and figures about mental illness, I am offering thoughts and ideas that might help someone with depression or another chronic issue move towards health.   I’m calling it hesitant healing. Why? About five years ago just after Still Life (my memoir) released, I began to experience some healing after a decade of debilitating depression. Although I

A New Year’s resolution? It’s that time again for a new year resolution. The Christmas tree is gone and our old, brown leather armchair is back in its rightful place in the corner of the living room. I spent a couple days last week putting things away and sweeping up glittery dust balls after all the holiday hoopla. Although less shiny and bright, I like our boring living room. I like having things in their

A few days ago, bits of wrapping paper and shimmery, sticky red bows were strewn around our living room as our four girls happily played with and examined new toys and gadgets after a pleasant Christmas morning. Today, I’m looking at all of the twinkle lights and ornaments that need to come down with an audible sigh. The angels will go back into the rubbermaids. The wreathes and other wall decor will be wrapped with

A thrill of hope? It’s Christmas time, those days in the year when popular lyrics like “a thrill of hope” are on the tip of the tongue. And yet, for some of us who fight depression, the idea of hope isn’t a thrill, but rather a briar patch of dissappointment, confused emotions, and shame. Depression is defined as hopelessness. For me, hope often feels more lost than found when my mind is frost bitten by