As long as it is called today
A New Year’s resolution?
It’s that time again for a new year resolution. The Christmas tree is gone and our old, brown leather armchair is back in its rightful place in the corner of the living room. I spent a couple days last week putting things away and sweeping up glittery dust balls after all the holiday hoopla. Although less shiny and bright, I like our boring living room. I like having things in their place. Feels comfortable and steady.
The girls are back at school too. Evangeline was especially ready. The last few days of winter break, she kept taking me by the hand and leading me to the door. Let’s go, already. OK? But we couldn’t go back to school. It wasn’t time yet. The doors were locked. The lights were off. And no one was there. And so she was stuck in that middle place. Christmas excitement past and usual school routine future and a string of long, cold days at home. Presents already losing their allure. Nothing but crumbs left in the cookie tin. A hand tug towards the door.
Why are we so obsessed with new?
We are people obsessed with new, aren’t we? We want new things. New relationships. New acclaim. But any new in this world is a blip on a radar. It’s a vapor, a moment, and then the moment’s gone. And we are once again out roaming the streets for the next thing.
I have a problem with putting the words new and year together for new year resolutions. It’s such a long amount of time. And although daunting, the idea to start and continue something isn’t even the hardest part. No. The worst part is knowing that my new resolution won’t be new tomorrow, or next week, or a year from now. It will be old and boring. It will quickly lose its luster and become a glittery dust ball on the floor. New becomes old. Monotony dulls motivation. How do I keep up the promise and commitment of new for a whole year? Motivation in the mundane is a big struggle for me in general. I’m easily bored and fickle when my eyes are on myself.
Perhaps I need to adjust my expectations.
“I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the year’s.”
Henry Moore
Maybe I should think less about new things and focus more on now? Instead of grabbing God’s hand and dragging him to the door of my perceived earthly future, maybe I need to be present here in the middle place. I should see today for what it is; bad or good or difficult or easy or boring. Because however today shakes out, it is a mercy from God.
And consider my motivation.
The notion of newness isn’t the big problem for me. It’s the purpose. I want new for selfish gain, to abate my boredom, and occupy my time. But the only new with staying power is my new life in Jesus.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
2 Corinthians 5:17
I have to examine my motivation. Why do I want newness? Is it for entertainment or notarity? Look at this shiny new resolution doing its thing! Or do I want to claim newness for the purposes of God and live out my actual self: a new creation?
My motivation should be to grow in the newness of Christ gifted to me through the gospel. I want God’s new morning mercy even though my flesh is often weak. I want to resolve to grow in holiness and love by the power of the Holy Spirit today, even though I struggle.
So, I make a resolution for today.
I want a renewed focus on God.
Our earthly future is really just a pile of todays without movement. Right now was yesterday’s future and it too, will pass. And if we aren’t careful, we’ll make it the only part of our lives that matter. But this life is short in comparision to eternity. There’s no lasting newness in this world. No real hope. The doors are locked. The lights are off.
How can we live today and in service to whom for God’s glory?
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, not on Christmas morning or on a dull, cold weekday when you are stuck at home and struggling to live into your newness as a child of God. Mercy is here today. It’s comfortable, like that old, brown chair in the corner of the living room and yet, more exciting than anything this life falsely promises. And so I resolve once again, albeit weakly at times, to focus on God’s mercy and lean into it, and to grow as a follower of Christ, as long as it is called today.
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23