A Bah Humbug Writer’s Wish List (and a giveaway!)
(This post is part of a blog parade! Check out other writers marching along at www.wordservewatercooler.com.)
The assignment to write a blog post in the form of a writer’s wish list for the WordServe Water Cooler, a community of agented authors encouraging, engaging, and enriching each other through their writing journey, as a part of the WordServe Literary Agency (the wonderful agency that represents my work) couldn’t have come at a worse time.
Why, you ask?
OK, I’ll tell you.
It’s a bad time for a writer’s wish list because I am feeling a bit bah humbug about the modern-day writing life lately. When it comes to putting pen to paper (or in my case finger to keyboard) I recently have started to morph into a female, 2012 version of the crab master himself, Ebenezer Scrooge, minus the stellar financial prowess, the extensive facial hairs (although I do have a couple), and the ability to make young children cry (again, my children may object to this last one).
Why so crotchety?
Because I am tired of all the extraneous work required to become a published author.
These days, it seems that men (and women) will not be published by writing alone.
Oh no, we need to Tweet, and have a Facebook Fan page, blog (and of course, this ravenous writer eager to be entitled author has cleverly linked you to all of her social media addresses), and get pictures of ourselves leaning against brick walls, attempting to look intelligent, yet kind, knowing, capable. Something like this …
Thanks to my lovely friend Christine from Christine Kay Photography for achieving a suave writing look for me.
I’m tired. And I am not doing a good job of balancing all this platform hoopla with the thing I actually love to do: write.
You caught me on an off day (shocker, I know. I never have off days!). Therefore, here is my not so encouraging, enriching, engaging writer’s wish list:
My writer’s wish list includes:
1. Introversion. If you want to be a serious writer, then you must abstain from copious amounts of people for the majority of your life. Hide in a cave somewhere and write. Spend so much time by yourself that you actually develop a head twitch if you are with people for too long.
2. Stacks of real life, honest to goodness books. I must admit, I own a Kindle Fire and I actually love it … A lot. But this is my writer’s wish list, and if space, time, and money weren’t an issue, I would own oodles of books, beautifully written, astounding books, and on hard days, create a little book nook to hide out in until the storm passed.
3. The implosion of Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and any other social media medium that sucks away my writerly time. (Insert: It is the social media’s problem, not mine. I repeat, not mine.) Don’t get me wrong. I frequent these venues. I appreciate catching up with friends from high school and finding out what some lady I would rather not friend but was too polite to ignore had for supper last night, but just imagine. Back to a world where you had to call someone on the phone, or get in the car and see them, or write a postcard.
Sigh. I know we aren’t going backwards, that social media double and triple lives are probably here to stay, but in my bah humbug writer days, I’d just assume be done with it all and just, well, write.
4. A martini shaker and a corkscrew. Come on! This is a writer’s wish list. Guess I better include a bottle opener.
5. A publisher stumbling upon my rather pithy and witty blog posts, or tweets, or Facebook stati and finding my cell number, calling me right away, and offering me a three book contract with a hefty advance that would pay off my family’s bills (read: twelve-year old’s braces) and leave me enough every month to hire someone else to clean the toilet.
6. And Jesus. I am a Christian, and I really do love God and am flabbergasted that he loves me, so I’ll include Jesus. I’ve learned that in Christian circles, whenever you are asked a question and don’t know the answer, just say Jesus. You can’t go wrong with that name.
OK, so that’s it. I could come up with more on my list, but pro-bloggers claim that a good blog post should be around 500 words, and I am already over 700 which probably messes up some algorithm somewhere on the internet.
But hopefully, one day, God willing, good writer.
Here’s my giveaway:
Leave a comment, link up to this fantabulous post, tweet, you know, do all that stuff I just ragged on, and get a chance to win an Ebenezer Scrooge box of writer stuff (stationary, nice pens, a worthwhile read, perhaps a corkscrew, and whatever else flips my lid at Home Goods.)
The giveaway ends at MIDNIGHT on December 24. The winner will be announced on Christmas Day through randomnumbers.org. Have fun!
Wanna see other WordServe Literary Agency Author’s lists and their giveaways?
1. Lucille Zimmerman
Blog Link: http://www.lucillezimmerman.com/2012/12/10/ape-author-publisher-entrepreneur-how-to-publish-a-book-by-guy-kawasaki-shawn-welch-a-book-review/
Prize: A chance to win a free copy of APE: Author, Publisher, Entrepreneur
2. Janalyn Voigt
Blog Link: http://janalynvoigt.com/one-authors-christmas-wish
Prize: A chance to win scrap booking software and an autographed copy of DawnSinger.
3. Kimberly Vargas
Blog Link: http://www.kimberlyvargasauthor.com/?p=241
Prize: A chance to win one of ten autographed copies of Gumbeaux.
4. Cheryl Ricker
Blog Link: http://www.cherylricker.com/2012/12/smells-and-whistles/
Prize: A chance to win one of three copies of A Friend in the Storm.
5. Jordyn Redwood
Blog Link: http://jordynredwood.blogspot.com/2012/12/wishing.html
Prize: A chance to win one of three personalized copies of Proof.
6. Melissa K. Norris
Blog Link: http://melissaknorris.com/?p=1351
Prize: A chance to win an electronic copy of Pioneering Today.
7. Gillian Marchenko
Blog Link: http://wp.me/p2Ds6m-zA
Prize: An Ebenezer Scrooge box of writerly accoutrements.
8. Dr. Rita Hancock
Blog Link: http://edensfreedomsisters.ning.com/profiles/blogs/the-eden-diet-joins-a-blog-parade-find-out-how-to-win-dr-rita-s-b
Prize: A chance to win one autographed copy of Radical Well-being–A Biblical Guide to Overcoming Pain, Illness, and Addictions and a chance to win one of three electronic copies of The Eden Diet.
9. Karen Jordan
Blog Link: http://karenbarnesjordan.com/a-writers-wish-list-grace-gifts
Prize: A chance to win a copy of Heavenly Company: Entertaining Angels Unaware by Cecil Murphey and Twila Belk.
10. Kelli Gotthardt
log Link: http://www.kelligotthardt.com/1/post/2012/12/writers-wish-list.html
Prize: A chance to win one of three Christian yoga DVDs from Yahweh Yoga.
11: Jan Dunlap
Blog Link: http://jandunlap.com/2012/12/the-wishlist-of-a-writer/
Prize: A chance to win “Cozy Moment” gift pack: a Christmas mug, notepad and pen, a signed copy of my newest mystery A Murder of Crows, and two Murder of Crows tea towels.
12: Cindy Dagnan
Blog Link: http://cindydagnan.com/cindy-sigler-dagnan/2012/12/14/one-writer%E2%80%99s-wish-list/
Prize: A chance to win a copy of Hot Chocolate for Couples, and some gourmet hot cocoa.
13: Anita Brooks
Blog Link: http://brooksanita.com/a-writers-fantasy-wish-list
Prize: A chance to win one of three signed copies of Moments of Grace.
And WordServe Literary Agency is giving away three packages at the Water Cooler:
Prize Package #1:
1. The Husband Project
2. The Me Project
3. The Marriage Project
Prize Package #2:
1. Bees in the Butterfly Garden: Maureen Lang
2. Pieces of Silver: Maureen Lang
3. The Falcon and the Sparrow: M.L. Tyndall
Prize Package #3:
Tim LaHaye and Craig Parshall: The End Series
1. Edge of Apocalypse
2. Thunder of Heaven
3. Brink of Chaos
Be sure to leave a comment on any blog where you would like a chance to win the prize. If you leave a message here at gillianmarchenko.com, you’ll be entered in the Ebenezer Scrooge Writer box of fun.