Ugly prayer turned pretty
God, I am attempting to draw near to you, I know that in order to do so a lot of shit needs to be drained out of my life. I seemed to have clogged up at some point.
Call it depression, call it exhaustion, call it caregiver burnout, call it what you want. I’ve lived numb for a while, but now you are awakening me. My limbs tingle, there’s a bit of a rumble in my belly, my heart is beating a tad louder, enough to show me I’m alive – and that my purpose is to give you glory with what you’ve given me.
I pray that you show me what I need to change, and good luck with that, because I’m afraid my heart could probably when a spot on HOARDERS these days.
I see cars drive by out the window. I hear the heat tick on here in the house. I have a lump in my throat when I dare myself to be still and look to you. My hair is greasy, Â I’m weary, and unsure.
Sheets on beds desperately need laundering.
And so do I.
Here I am.
And the best thing about all of this is you are here too.
9 Responses
ah, you wrote! yes!!!!! i am proud of you, and i love love love your Quote and Pic! you are giving us so much of you….thank you!
Thanks friend. Yes, that was about seven minutes of anything I could get down lol. Baby steps.
This is the first post that I received since I subscribed to your blog (yesterday). Yes, you are definitely alive! You’re in His grip.
Thanks Heather, and thanks for subscribing!
Gillian, thank you for this post. You are not alone.
Thanks for speaking up, Dianne.
Oh wow. I totally relate to that!!
Thanks for the shout out. 🙂
Saying what many are feeling….keep up the fight!, work through whatever it is and like you said..baby steps…<3