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Depression can no longer be the elephant in the room Robin Williams died yesterday from his own hand. Yesterday morning, I sobbed in the shower and fought thoughts in my head that people wouldn’t think I would have, or even allow myself to have as a Christian, a Pastor’s wife, a writer, a speaker, a mother, a wife, a daughter. But I do have thoughts. And sometimes they are very bad. Last night I sat
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(A version of this post first appeared on my talented friend Addie Zierman’s blog. I’ve changed it up a bit to post here because it still rings true for me… it often does.) How I can best advocate for my kids with special needs (This was writing back when the most recent Chicago winter wouldn’t end.) It’s nine o’clock in the morning. I spoon leftover chili into my mouth and look out a smudged
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She lives hard and well, and falls asleep fast We’re lying in bed together just before she goes to sleep. She has her arm slung over my body. We look at each other. Face to face. Just the two of us. I start singing a song and Polly joins in even though she doesn’t know the words. I sing, and she sings, and her relaxed attempt at joining in without knowing what she is doing
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Why I tell my kids about my depression I guess the short answer is: they already know about it anyway. I have four girls. I have depression. One of my most serious episodes occurred at the end of 2011 into 2012. At some point during that time, I basically gave up on life. It’s hard to admit as a mom, and also as a Christian, but I stopped functioning. I found myself in and out
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21 Responses
Thanks so much for this. I know it is super-timely for many readers. We wanted to leave a pithy or memorable comment… all we can think, Gil, is we love you, we love you, we love you,
I fight too. Every day. I take my oils, roll them on my family, & pray like crazy that my kids don’t ever feel this way.
These words couldn’t be more true.
So true. So beautiful Gill…thank you for writing this. Amen and Amen.
LOVE this post…thank you for your honesty and know you are so loved and respected! Colleen
Thank you for writing what so many of us are afraid to write, let alone speak out loud. I battle, too, and yesterday was a big battle. I won and today, I win again. But you are right, there are days you don’t win, but you also don’t lose. Hopefully.
I so get it Frankie. So understand. You may find encouragement on our blog page as well…it’s http://insightforliving.typepad.com/specialneeds/ The journey is long and hard but you are surviving. Love your comment! Colleen
I will remember and treasure and Share your words, Gillian. I too, struggle, fight with depression on a daily basis. I have been in that “black place”, the place Robin was in yesterday. But… We Need to talk about it! My heart aches for the loss of this man I only knew on screen. I’ll add you to my prayers, Friend.
Love, Jo
I just found your website, thanks to my friend Nicole up there. I am in MI too! As someone who battles depression for at least 20 years due to sexual abuse, there are also other mental health disorders diagnosed with it. I can related to you comment about telling yourself that you do have a choice. You are so right. I wake up each morning and try my hardest not to let it take over. But sometimes, I am so broken down and weak that I just can’t handle it anymore. I take a day off, stay in bed and just be kind to myself. I do what I can to get by. When I feel those suicidal thoughts trying to take over, I occupy myself. I find a friend to text. I do what I can to get by. Mental health problems are terrible diseases.
Your post is one of the best I have read all day.
Thank you.
Thank you for this. My brother and mother deal with depression every day and I am just begining to understand it. the more folks like you are open about it… there less it will be stigmatized and more healing can happen.
[…] Like this post by Gillian Marchenko, Depression Can No Longer Be The Elephant In The Room. […]
[…] Gillian Marchenko wrote a piece entitled "Depression Can No Longer Be The Elephant In The Room." […]
Thanks for your willingness to share your story with us. It’s very important for leaders in the church to see that people of great faith who love God still struggle with depression.
[…] Depression Can no Longer be the Elephant in the Room – I chose to fight, and I won that day. That’s the deal. You fight depression day by day. But here’s the thing: I don’t always have a choice to fight. And I want to try to help people understand that others don’t always have a choice either. Sometimes my depression is just too strong. It is a tsunami wave and I am a toddler. I get knocked down before I even realize what is happening. Because depression is an illness. – Gillian Marchenko […]
[…] mental illness can no longer remain hidden or cloaked in darkness. They cannot remain a silent elephant in the room . (I love that link. It’s from Gillian Marchenko‘s blog. It’s good stuff! […]
Mental illness is as real as a physical illness, even though it can’t be seen. Someday, I hope we can respond to it with the same level of compassion we show to people with cancer or heart disease. Thanks for adding this to the Different Dream Tuesday link up.
[…] the recent death of Robin Williams, I have seen many great posts about depression. Like my friend Gillian Marchenko’s post, where she calls depression the elephant in the room, and how we need to talk about it, it is a […]
I just found your site and was happy to hear echo’s of my own voice in your letter. Thank you, I look forward to navigating your site.
Thank you for being so honest. I trust it is helping someone RIGHT NOW!!
[…] the recent death of Robin Williams, I have seen many great posts about depression. Like my friend Gillian Marchenko’s post, where she calls depression the elephant in the room, and how we need to talk about it, it is a […]
[…] My struggle with depression is no longer an elephant in the room. They get that it is an illness. My dad and brother often check in with me to see how I am doing. My sister sees me wilting and steps in and helps where I should be helping. My mom hugs me and offers one hundred percent understanding w/o judgement. Heck, one time my two adult nephews Ben and Will actually came into my room while I was bad off. I was embarrassed but they didn’t care. One joked with me until I laughed and the other actually climbed over the bed to give me a hug and tell me he loved me. During one of Evie’s autism melt downs she and I spent hours in a dark room attempting to help calm her down and keep her safe in different surroundings. My sister-in-law Kris had the brilliant idea to send my brother Justin into the room with a glass of wine for me. That kind gesture reminded me that even when absent, I am missed and cared for. […]