Gillian Marchenko

March Home Staging, Jooniper Design, Author & Speaker
Church: 5 reasons why you must minister to families affected by special needs

Church: 5 reasons why you must minister to families affected by special needs

This last weekend, I got to speak to a church about special needs ministry. It was such a valuable time for them and for me, I thought I’d share some key thoughts.

Here are 5 reasons why you must minister to families affected by special needs…

1. It’s in the Bible

  • 2 Samuel 9: David and Mephibosheth. David took in his friend Jonathan’s son who had special needs and brought him to eat at the King’s table.
  • Mark 2:4: A man who was a paralytic wanted to get to Jesus for healing but couldn’t, so his friends lowered him through the rough to meet Jesus.
  • Luke 14: 12-14: Jesus commands us to interact with the special needs community

12 Then He also said to him who invited Him, “When you give a dinner or a supper, do not ask your friends, your brothers, your relatives, nor rich neighbors, lest they also invite you back, and you be repaid. 13 But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind. 14 And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you; for you shall be repaid at the resurrection of the just.”

 2. It’s missional

Matthew 28:18-20: The Great Commission 

18 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.

Some disability statistics:

-600 mil people world-wide are affected by disabilities.

-About 50 mil people in the US are affected by disabilities.

-Almost 13% of children in America have a developmental disability.

-1 out of 68 are diagnosed with Autism

-1 out of 691 live births result in Down syndrome.

So, we are talking about a large community of people and a huge mission field right here in our back yard.

Also, a lot of families affected by disability don’t/can’t attend church.

*I asked people who have kids with special needs on my Facebook page if they attend church. Here’s what some of them said: 

-My son was 4 and not yet fully toilet trained. A church volunteer who was unfamiliar with my son told me he couldn’t be checked in to Sunday School because he wasn’t toilet trained. It was Easter weekend so the line to check in was long and other parents were waiting behind me. I felt so embarrassed and hurt that we left the building and haven’t been back. That was two years ago. Just thinking about going to church makes me panic.

Another parent said:

-I worry he will disturb people, and to be honest I don’t like the looks I get from people. I have gotten the angry look, shhh’ed, and the pity look. The last one is the one that hurts the most – my son is a gift, not one to be pitied.

And this:

-Our church rallied around us when we were pregnant with our child with Down syndrome but since we  had him, its been one saddening experience after the next, mainly because the volunteers are spread thin and uneducated in acceptance and inclusion… One time our child was put in a plastic bin in the corner for children’s church while the rest of the kids learned about Jesus.

Brothers and sisters, this should not be.

3. It’s good for the church

Diversity is essential for the heath of the local church. 

Paul talks about the church being one body with many members in 1 Corinthians 12:21-23:

21 And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” 22 No, much rather, those members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary. 23

The so-called ‘weak’ members are necessary for the health of the body. Also, if we are honest, aren’t we all weak at some point? Jurgen Moltmann said “Congregations without disabled members are – to put it bluntly – disabled congregations.”

Including people with disabilities makes a church healthier. Gifts like compassion and service are exercised. A theology of suffering develops. Our church in Chicago discovered that by serving those with special needs we learn to serve everyone better.

4. It’s good for individuals

It gets you out of your comfort zone. Francis Chan, in his book Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God said “But God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through.” 
If the idea of ministering to and becoming friends with people who are different from you; say, people who have disabilities, scares you or makes you uncomfortable, than you should absolutely do it.

5. And lastly, It glorifies Jesus

The glory of the Gospel is revealed through ministry to and with individuals with special needs. It’s not just that God commands this, or because the church functions better with it, or because individuals are sanctified through it, but because this ministry glorifies and honors Jesus Christ.

Think about the gospel. Jesus accomplished the work of redemption not by strength but by weakness. Poverty, loneliness, pain, suffering, death, rejection, homelessness – all were part of the Savior’s life. Should the church try to be what Christ wasn’t? Of course, there is also power and glory of Christ. But they are revealed in our weakness lest we boast in ourselves.

1 Corinthians 1:27

27 But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty.

God is glorified in our weaknesses, because then he is strong. The works of God are displayed in our brokenness. And we all are broken, every single one of us, outside of Jesus.

I care about special needs ministry

It’s personal. My family needs help/respite/spiritual care. My children deserve to be valued, loved, and served by the church. My children should also serve, just like any other person who is part of a community. Individuals with special needs are important to the church.

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9 comments found

  1. My church is very small and had no special needs ministry but a very understanding congregation and pastor who allows me to trust my instincts when it comes to admitting my daughter with Down syndrome and autism to the sacraments (she spit out the host at her First Communion and he trusted me to say when she was ready to receive again. So I have no complaints.
    However I sensed the need to plan a retreat for moms with special needs children here in CT and was enthusiastically supported by my followers on FB. I will be running in in October.

  2. I’ve found churches willing to serve children with disabilities, but once you reach middles school years inclusion of any kind, especially if your children have more severe disabilities, ends and I haven’t found anything until your children reach adulthood.
    I get the sentiment of the Jurgen Moltmann quote “Congregations without disabled members are – to put it bluntly – disabled congregations.” – However the implication is something is “wrong” with the church which therefore means something is “wrong” with those who are disabled.
    Lastly, those of us who are actively parenting children with special needs really need someone else to take up the ministry part. We’re exhausted from advocating in the schools and greater community and need to be able to rest from that role at church.

    1. Serial Adopter, such great points, all three. I’ve heard that it gets harder as kids get older. And interesting thought regarding the Maltmann quote. I didn’t read it like that until you said something. Really good point. And the third point, don’t I know it. I’m tired :).

      Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts here and helping to educate me.

  3. While I appreciate your “5 reasons” none of them give any indication of what the special needs person (child, youth, or adult) has to offer to the church body. My 20 year old non-verbal daughter with autism has taught me more about a pure heart and what it means to love someone unconditionally, than any church leader. And you have not seen what worship can be until you have seen her dance to praise music! When I see her special needs friends at Young Life Capernaum, soccer, baseball, and track, who love and care for one another so honestly, I see God’s truth. They all have so much to give, but all people see is what special people need.

    We stopped going to church because she (and I) became more & more invisible there. While her sister was included in everything, she was regularly forgotten and left out in blatent, painful ways. People (including youth leaders) walked by us and around us, because of their discomfort that she could not dialogue with them. They somehow could not see her as God’s creation with gifts other than talking. I do not believe that God makes mistakes – she is exactly who He made her to be.

    I know a young man in his mid 20’s who has special needs — he runs so fast they call him “Flash”. We found out he also has another talent – an amazing voice! He sang an incredible National Anthem — a cappella — at a Special Olympics track meet. When I talked with him today, he said he has never sang publicly before. We are missing out on the gifts that people with special needs have to offer.

  4. Hi, Gillian! Thanks for a great, much needed article. From my point of view, there could be a 6th reason: Matthew 25: 31 to 46. Blessings!

  5. we attended a church where we had help getting my three disabled daughters to church and they were accepted fully. Then we had to move. At the first church we tried we were told to sit in the crying room where the girls could not see the service and parents were visiting, etc. Then we attended another church and at first the minister had us sit up front. Then one Sunday they were making a promotional video and we were told ti sit in a very congested high traffic area and my one daughter kept getting her legs bumped during service as people kept going in and out. She couldn’t see the service either. People told me the girls were not being healed because I didn’t believe enough. I took the girls out to the lobby where the service was streamed on a flst screen buy people wrwr visiting loudly and my daughter became upset. We have not been back.

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